DAY 28729372927186392718

Feeling
DIRTY
ROTTEN
DISGUSTING
IRRITATING
EVIL
BROKEN.

Those are basically the words that I want to use to describe myself at the moment.
Didn't want to share it on Facebook. Don't need any comments, don't need any comfort. I just wanna share this with someone, telling them how bad I actually feel about myself. It's so bad I can't even bother to show how rotten I am.

She is right. I am not any different than those magicians. Only regret I had is to make her sad today. But I made my own decision before I went. Was absolutely clear in my mind of what I was doing. I wished that there were better solutions to this. I guess I just did not have enough faith in God. :(

I know myself. I know myself deep in and out. All the things I've done. Only myself,
and God understands. And maybe my only solution will be God and only He can take me as I am despite all my sins.

It's the post of the day. Just not in the mood to elaborate further more.

Oh, and I went for the rally in Kelana Jaya stadium today. It was epic :)

EDEXCEL RESULTS

Have been very lazy these days. And I promised to keep my blog constantly updated. :( I really have very bad discipline.

So, I will start off with my edexcel results I got last Thursday. Being very confident with my business studies, I was so surprised to see a C for both my Unit 1 and Unit 2 paper. Which gives me a C for my AS level result. I was very disappointed with my business studies and I've finally decided to drop this subject just like what most of my other friends did. For accounting, I expected a rather lousy result but it turned out to be a B, which cheered me up a lil. Did badly for mathematics C3 and C4. I'm planning to retake three papers this semester, which includes my accounting unit 1(still am not satisfied with a B, I want an A for all subjects) and both my mathematics paper. If I only wanted an A for mathematics, I didn't have to retake my maths paper cause my average turned out to be 82. But I figured out this only after I had paid for retaking that three subjects. Why doesn't MCKL give us more time to consider??

After dropping business studies, I'll have more long breaks throughout the week. I suppose this is the time I'm suppose to spend catching up on those subjects which I did not do well. I'm starting to pick up the momentum to study these days. I put notices around myself to remind myself to have more self-control and be discipline. I kinda managed to force myself to spend more time on my studies. I guess I'll have to remind myself to continue blogging too. 

I think I kinda irritate people around me these days. D; I have keep my mouth shut more often I guess. Really afraid of how people look at me and how they treat me. Don't like being treated as an irritating, noisy, rude, boring, lame friend. I just have to accept the fact that not everyone likes me being me. I'll have to pray more maybe. Ask God to give me the strength and the courage to love myself more to even care about these. I can't help but feel depressed every time I face problems like this. Got ignored today. Felt like shit inside of me. D: For a second, I hated myself so badly. Ahhhh. This is getting depressing.

I guess I have to learn to live simple. To not over complicate my life, enjoying every moments in my life and stay out of trouble. I miss my best friends. I hope they don't feel that I'm abandoning them. I still love them a lot. <3 It cheers me up by thinking there is always a group of friends that will never judge me for who I am and will always accept as I am. Feel so comfortable whenever I'm with them. 

Simplicity is something I should really learn how to appreciate. Being simple is really beautiful at times. :)

NO MORE SC D:

ehehehe. I wanted to blog after my exams but then I got busier and lazier.

My edexcel exams were not so bad except for my accounting which I have totally lost interest in. I became extremely busy after my January exams because of our annual orientation ball and another 30th Anniversary dinner which I was suppose to help out with. Life as an events coordinator isn't that easy after all. I faced many problems while preparing all these events. So stressed out sometimes that made me want to cry. Orientation ball 2013 have finally ended last Friday which also includes the student council hand-over ceremony. Felt so relieved and relaxed. No more burden on my shoulders. Finally, I'm back to being a normal college student. But I dare say that I have no regrets being a student council especially taking up the position as an events coordinator. I loved my job and I believe my successor, Ernest will love it too. We had to visit hotels, make decisions, go through contracts etc. These are precious experience that not everyone has the chance to go through! We're having our SC party tomorrow~ The new SCs are going to prepare the party for us just like what we did for the previous council. :D

I went for the auditions for our CF worship team today as a vocalist. I love singing and I really hoped that I am able to serve God by serving in the CF in my college during my last semester. God had really blessed me throughout my serving in the student council. Really happy because I got a distinction for serving in the council. I felt that all those hardwork was worth while. Hopefully I'm able to get into the worship team. haha. I'm trying to cut down on all my activities in order to focus more on my studies. I suppose serving in the worship team wouldn't take up much of my time. I'm hoping to grow spritually stronger by serving in the CF and also making more good christian friends before I leave college.

I passed my key to Ernest today. I'm back to using my locker! No more SC(storage) room. D; Our qualifying test is on this coming Thurs and Fri! I've got to brush up my studies real soon. Ahh. I've sacrificed much time in the student council. haha. Now that all the ten of us got so close and attached to each other, its really hard to just seperate like that. D; I really really love my fellow council members!! <3

Thank you God for bringing me into the student council and guiding me through all the difficulties I had to face. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to experience and learn all these new things. Thank you so much LORD! :D

Oh, and do support our OB video on youtube!! :D http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPVySfUszHM :D

Student council, Aug'12 - Feb'13
The Justice League of MCKL

I love them <3