WHEN TRUTH UNRAVELS

'Law is a code of behaviour where certain actions had certain consequences' 

                                    - Nineteen Minutes, Jodi Piccoult.

In the same way, life has a law of its own as well,
containing certain consequences to be taken place with certain actions.

Tasted a piece of the law of life today.

Case: Life v Abigail Cheong 

Charged under the law of life of judging, cruelty, immaturity and an unforgiving heart.

Liable for emotional self imprisonment and self condemnation.

Because of the hatreds and immaturity that I've confined in my body,

I've put myself through six years of emotional self imprisonment.

Managed to face the issue for the first time in six years, 

Talked it out with someone whom I've locked out from my life for six years,

someone who used be a very important part of my life.

And finally, I conquered my fears and got back my life.

However, another offence of being judgemental has brought me the liability of self condemnation. 

When you discover that you've wrongly judged a person,

When its too late to take back the what you've said to that person,

When you've also realise how much you've hurt that person,

When it's too late for you to do anything for that person,

When everything becomes past tense,

and that person is someone whom you love so much.

And I'm left with self condemnation.

So the truth unravelled,

bringing happiness and sorrows at the same time.

To that someone I love,

I'm really sorry I didn't take the time to understand you.

Sorry for judging you without considering your point of view.

Sorry for judging your decision.

I've realised that you're still that perfect person I know.

I wish I could go back in time,

and be the first who would stand by your side.

I'm really really sorry.

For all you've done for me,

what I did was just judging you and hurting you.

It must have been really hard on you.

I'm sorry.

Love, your sister.

ONE AND A QUARTER CUP FULL OF HAPPINESS

I know people still don't get why I'd cried over 'Frozen'. For a person who survived 'Lion King'(which probably is one of the saddest disney movie ever), I never expect myself to be so emotional. Its like I'm slowly losing control of my emotions (excuse me and my long stories about my inner conflicts). But its like the first time in forever (Ermagarddd I'm so 'Frozen'ize) I'm having this sort of inner conflict. Oh! And Frozen was not too bad though I still like Tangled more.

Despite having such a hard time dealing with my emotions, I am much grateful for friends who've continuously shown love and care for me (Ngawww I love you guys sooooo much, I wish I was brave enough to tell <3). Knowing how bossy and stubborn I was towards my friends, I was so afraid that I would've soon be left out. I guess can blame it on the youngest child syndrome?

Naming this post 'One & A Quarter Cup Full of Happiness', I believe I have enough, or maybe more than just enough happiness. Felt as if I'd just ended another stage of my life, and yes of course 2014 just started and I'll be entering my twenties in five months' time (But I soooooo don't wanna turn twenty *sobs*)

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION

It has always been a tradition in our youth group to make a New Year's Resolution every year end (How I miss those youth days *sigh*). Well, my New Year's Resolution this time is 'Saving money'. Looking back at the amount of money I spent for the past few months since I arrived in the UK, I simply couldn't think of any other resolutions that can be more important than 'saving money'. Second in place would be reading the bible. It's not that I don't read the bible, it's just that I've never finished reading the bible on my own. It is quite a big challenge to me though, seeing how much commitment and discipline this takes. But nevertheless I would still like to give it a go. (Fighting? #koreanwannabe) 

21-12-13

I have a past

and it's taken it's toll.

Looking through my Instagram pictures letting my mind wander

It's funny how life has turned out to be..

..after I screwed things up back then

I have a fear

and it's keeping me away from myself.

No matter how hard I try living a new life 

Fear never fails to come by 

making every new life miserable again.

My past fears are cursing me in the present. 

My past in which I've wished to never live again.

My fear in which I hope it never existed.

It's easy to say 'let the past be the past, and let the fear be gone'

But no one(except the Lord, I guess) really understands how it is to be cursed by your past fears.

Living everyday having the fear of being judged.

Having forgotten who I really am or what I used to be.

I've always thought that time will erase everything

But I guess not exactly everything. 

Putting on a mask can be so heavy to bear. 

It is up till recently when I realised that my fear has made me weak.

Making me more sensitive and depressed than ever.

There are two types of people in the world.

The extroverts and the introverts.

However, people have the choice to pretend to be the other. 

The extroverts can pretend to be introverts;

And the introverts can pretend to be extroverts.

Am I an extrovert who tries to be an introvert?

Or am I an introvert who tries to be an extrovert?